I remember the first time I excused myself from the table.

“I’ll be right back,” I said.

“Ah,”  she said.  “Take-a-piss?”

She could’ve been a nana ju sai obachan with the physique of a sumo wrestler and I still would’ve fallen in love with her.  Despite my low standards for charm over looks, I keep finding myself on blind dates with gorgeous Japanese girl.  Either my friends think very highly of me, or some sort of revenge is being exacted on the poor unsuspecting friend and I am the payback.  Please don’t ask Mark which one is more likely.  Either way, when I see her walk through the door, I always think there’s been some confusion.  The gaijin card doesn’t play that far.  Sometime soon I plan to learn the phrase, “Would you like to change your mind?”

Anyway, even though these girls exist in some ethereal league I can’t look at without temporary blindness, they never turn tail and run according to some unknown Japanese custom.  With the years we’d each put in studying each other’s respective language, my Japanese and her English overlap for a good fifteen minutes of conversation.  I try to nurse the few topics we can cover (What do you do for a living?  Do you like it?  What do you do for fun?  Um . . .) like the last few drops of water in the middle of a scorching desert.  After my canteen runs dry, things get a little awkward.

Maybe they know a lot more English than they’re letting on . . . Once again, please don’t ask Mark.

No matter how tiresome the night becomes those two beautiful words keep ringing in my head: comic fodder.  I’m sure we’ll return to the world of cross-pacific dating soon.

In the meantime, Rez Sick is born again and disturbing children across the world with its specious kid’s book glossiness.  It’ll probably get its own section sometime soon.  You know, once we figure out how computers, um, do their stuff.  Until then, sift.

One quick favor before I go.  While you’re all sitting in the over-crowded theater watching Heath Ledger’s cracked make-up flake in high-def as he cackles and lays doom upon irredeemable Gotham, I want you to take a moment and be grateful.  Looks like The Dark Knight isn’t going to come to my island until 2015.

Enjoy, bastards.

-Christian

P.S.  Bask in the glow of my new avatar, ha ha.  I’ll make it smaller for the next post.

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 20th, 2008 at 12:00 am and is filed under All Comics, Incompletes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.